Happy New Year

Good morning and Happy New Year!

How was your holiday? Did you ring in the new year last night with boisterous bluster or quiet contemplation? Whatever you did, I hope you took a moment to bid 2016 farewell and thank her for all of the lessons she taught you - or in my case forced upon me, the unrelenting battle-ax! 

I am fond of new years because I am a lover of clean slates and fresh lists. Add to that, that the new year falls on a Sunday, I get the joy of a new day, new week, new month and a new year. Tres exciting. 

Are you a resolution maker? Have you made any resolutions? I virtually know nothing about astrology or numerology, however I do enjoy reading about all that stuff and I'm told that 2017 is a Universal 1 year. This is what I've read:

January 1, 2017 marks the first day of the first month of the first year of a new cycle that ends in 2025, 9 years from now, 2017 is a Universal 1 year, where we plant the seeds of intention for the forthcoming year, and the entire 9-year cycle. January 1 - today - marks the 1:1:1 Star Gate, downloading us with new energies, opening the Lightdoor to new possibilities limited only by our preconceptions or beliefs. There will be other triple-1 gates on January 10th and 19th, but the first downloads will be the purest.

I love that! I have no idea what it means but it makes me feel as though I am walking through a field of rich and endless possibilities. We each have the opportunity to take a moment today and consider this question -- "What do I really want?". Think about that. Think about the past nine years. Can you remember 9 years ago? 2007. Where were you? Who were you with? What were you doing? Do you remember what you wanted back then? You set yourself up for the nine years that followed. I don't know about you, but I think I might have fucked some stuff up because the last nine years were pretty tough. Good, yes but hard. And today is like one big magical and cosmic do-over!! Oh goodie!!!

Quite honestly I don't remember all that much about 2007 other than I packed up my beloved and my cat (who is no longer with us, miss that guy so much) and everything I owned in the world and headed West. No joke. We drove across the whole of Canada from Toronto all the way out to Vancouver Island where we lived for 4 years before moving slowly back east - with a three year pit stop in Vancouver, before coming back to Toronto, where I am currently writing to you from. Talk about full circle. Literally. That's pretty interesting. So maybe this truly is a do-over. I am back where I started.

The horoscope I was reading and quoting above goes on to say:

Beyond making the usual New Year's resolutions, this year we infuse love and intention into our deepest heartfelt desires, dreams, and vision for every area of our lives. Once these intentions are set, we release any preconceived ideas, beliefs, attachments, or attempts at understanding, allowing the universe to bring forth what wants to be expressed. It is no coincidence that the year begins with Mercury retrograding through Capricorn. We are not meant to bring our minds into this process. This is the time to plant the seeds of co-creating with the universe what we truly want for ourselves and the world we want to live in, coming from the heart. We go forward without expectation or attachment, trusting in the universe and our Higher Selves (which is the same thing) spreading seeds of love and peace.

So I'll ask you again, have you got any resolutions for the new year? If your answer is no, perhaps you might want to put forth an intention or two of what you'd like to see yourself or your world become in 2017 and beyond. I know there is a kick-ass handstand in your future Myla! You go girl.

Carl Jung says: Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside dreams, who looks inside awakens. How great is that?

Why not take a moment right now. You're not doing anything anyway other than reading my blog, so make yourself a cup of tea or some warm comforting soup and reflect. Think back over the last nine years and ask, if there was something I could do differently, something I could improve upon, something I could nurture within myself, what might that be?

Generally I need only look to the side of this page and review my Shamandments and I get set back on course. Or if I peruse the many virtues that I have chosen over the months and years of writing a blog, there are so many lovely things I could focus on and cultivate. But always, the most important thing is authenticity and being who I am. 

But I don't always know who that is. My identity often gets tangled up in the activities I pursue. For example yoga. For a very long time, I was a yoga teacher so that became an identity or the fact that I am a writer is part of my identity but are those things who I am? Not really. A neck injury took away my yoga practice and therefore I no longer teach. Do I still practice facets of yoga like ahimsa or meditation or pranayama - yes, but is that who I am? Not really.

In 2010 I started working with the Tracy Anderson Method and in fact it was how I started to write a blog because I had wanted to be accountable to myself by working out daily. Then that morphed into some kind of identity. But is that who I am? No it is not.

For more than a decade, I have written feature film screenplays and made a couple of short films and a feature film called Empire of Dirt, so I considered myself a filmmaker. Yet I have spent the better part of last year writing television so does that mean I am no longer a filmmaker? No, it just means I am more than that. We are more than the labels we get attached to.

I for one am happy to sit down and create a list (fond of lists remember?) and take stock of not only what I want to challenge myself with in this new year, but also be conscious of what no longer serves me and be mindful of not bringing those attitudes or behaviours with me into this next nine year cycle. This is truly a time for wrapping up, giving yourself a tidy-up or an inventory taking. Not the most eloquent  way to say that but you know what I mean. Like Jung says -- look within. What's working, what's not.

Someone who has done a spectacular job of that this year has been my friend Karen. You might know her from IG as peacefullwillow, she has culled all the crap from her life, become transparently honest and is following her own true North! Karen, you inspire me daily and I love you so much.

In charting my course for this new year and this next nine-year cycle I've had to get really honest about some things. For one, I have decided to stop saying yes to everything. I can actually be more selective about the types of projects I take on, but more importantly about the people I choose to work with. Life is too short to work with passive aggressive or hateful meanies. And two, I need to value my time and my skills more. This year I am taking a leap of faith and am saying to the Universe - I believe in me, I believe I can make a living off of my writing - so I have officially let go of my part time job. Yikes! Next Saturday will be my last shift. And with that in mind, it's time to be more frugal with my budget. What can I afford, what can I not afford, and what can I not afford to be without?  These are some hard questions as I have never been good at budgeting. But... and here it is, this is going to be the record scratch moment, the moment where you'll hear a pin drop - I have elected to not continue streaming with TA.

The God's honest truth is that for quite some time, I have not been connecting with the work. Friday was my two year anniversary and instead of growing into the work (which I had hoped would happen) I have grown away from it. I don't know how much I have shared with you about my heart over the past 18 or so months but I have some unusual (but benign so not to worry) arrhythmia so extreme heat or too much cardio make my heart go wackadoodle. If I get exhausted or don't eat properly my heart goes wackadoodle. If I'm stressed? You guessed it wackadoodle heart. So I have had to step back from the master classes and just do the beginners class, but I wasn't seeing the results I had gotten used to with Tracy from Meta and Continuity - plus looking at my budget - well it just no longer makes sense to spend so much money on something I no longer love.

The weird thing is that I know a lot of people are going to take issue with that. And that's what doesn't sit well with me. I have just never been much of a joiner. When I started blogging back in the day, many like-minded readers, who have since become friends, came and hung out and we shared a few laughs and our relationship grew. But as we grew, so did social media and so did the Tracy Anderson Community and whether it outgrew me or I outgrew it, there was no longer a fit. Don't get me wrong. I love and adore all my girls whom I have connected with and grown with and learned so much from - look at Karen who I spoke of above. Would not have met her if it hadn't been for Tracy and Instagram. I am so grateful. But at the same time, I am ready for my fresh new nine-year cycle.

Oh I still workout out. Moving my body has been a religion for me for as far back as I can remember - doing Yoga or Jane Fonda workouts with my mom when I was a wee kid, to track & field in elementary school, running through my teens and twenties - I have always moved my body and will continue to do so.

I love and am inspired by so many of the beautiful women who post their workouts every day - Nadine, Karen, Emery, Jenne, Elise, Gillian, or Emily the list goes on and on, but I am not now, nor have I ever been a poster of my workouts. When I started writing about my workouts I did post some body shots to see and to share my progress. It helped me grow into being physically accountable for moving my body and the fuel I gave myself, but I never wanted to be known for my physique. I might be part of that world but I am not of that world if that makes sense??

I did not take this photo - I just love it

New nine year cycle - I want to be known for my voice, for my vision, and for what I can add to my community. This body will age and pass on, it's a shell, it is not my identity. It is not who I am. See what I did just there, I circled back to the theme of this very long-winded new years day post.

So to quote fitness guru Tony Horton - what's the tip of the day? Today's tip is that you, I, me, we, are not any one thing. Our identity should not need to be tied to any single one thing either. 

I have been sugar free for over nine months. Yay me! In February I will be a year gluten free - I can finally say with some conviction that I have achieved the balance in my diet that I had so desperately sought through my years of blogging and watching my metabolism crap out with age.

It's my intention to stand in my own space, do my own thing, use my voice in productive and uplifting ways so as to bring some light and levity into the world around me. I want to once again believe in magic and dwell in possibility.
So the virtue for January as it has been for various months in the last year and half is BELIEVE. Believe in myself, in the power of friendships, believe in love and in magic and all things good.

A very happy and blessed 2017 to all of you!
Love,
Shan